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Mastering Mindfulness for Peak Performance with Aaron Hendon

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In this episode of Pro Mindset® Podcast, host Craig Domann explores the transformative power of meditation with CEO at The Mindful CEO, Aaron Hendon. Discover how mindfulness can enhance performance and provide clarity amidst chaos. Aaron shares insights on training the brain, emphasizing the importance of presence and self-kindness in achieving success.

Episode Takeaways:

💡 Meditation—Enhance Mental Clarity
💡 Self-Kindness—Boost Performance
💡 Mindfulness—Respond vs. React

Join us for an enlightening conversation on mastering the mind and turning challenges into opportunities.

💬 “Be kind to yourself. There is no downside to being kind to yourself and nothing but upside.” — Aaron Hendon

📲Connect with Aaron:
🌐Website: https://www.aaronhendon.com/ 
👋LinkedIn: @AaronHendon
📸Instagram: @aaronhendon_themindfulceo
📱Facebook: @AaronHendon

🚀 Ready to Build a Mindset That Powers You Through Anything?
If Aarons’s insights on mindfulness and meditation inspire you, the Pro Mindset® Coaching Program can help you align your potential with purpose and adaptability.

 👉 Learn more or apply at www.ProMindsetPodcast.com/coaching or reach out directly to Craig at Craig.ProMindset@gmail.com.

#ProMindset #Mindset #CraigDomann #ProMindsetPodcast #AaronHendon #TheMindfulCEO #TheRealtorsEdge #Mindfullness #Meditation #Mentality #Performance #SelfKindness #SelfCompassion #Compassion

PRO MINDSET (00:

01.368) Hey, welcome everybody to Pro Mindset podcast. This is your host, Craig Domann Today we have Aaron Hendon. Aaron is a CEO. He's a chief meditation evangelist and he coaches high performers and teaches them how to meditate. Aaron, welcome to Pro Mindset.

Aaron Hendon (00:

22.114) Greg, thanks so much. It's a real pleasure to be here. I'm really a big fan.

PRO MINDSET (00:

26.592) Okay, so I meditate. I've learned how to meditate. Sometimes I'm not sure what it does to me. When you teach high performers to meditate, what is your desired outcomes for them?

Aaron Hendon (00:

32.184) Aaron Hendon (00:38.732) When things get crazy, they rise. But the Navy Seals and the Buddhists have this saying, I always like it when those two fields have the same conversation. It's interesting. But they say you don't rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your preparation. Well, you know, think Steph Curry's jumping back with that, he's not rising to the occasion, he's just more prepared. No one practiced more than Kobe. That's standard of that. always sink to the level of preparation. That's the way that goes. So mindfulness and meditation is preparing the brain. it's not optional. It's not like, well, do this and we'll see what happens. Meditation physically changes your brains the same way cardiovascular work changes your cardiovascular capacity or... Resistance training grows muscles. No one's like, well, I don't know if that works for me. No, no, You work a muscle to failure, it's going to grow. You feed it right and you work it to failure, it grows. It's not like, well, I don't know about believing that. Not my muscles. That's not the way that works. And so meditation is physically changes the brain. And this is 50 years, 70 years of science has shown this up in addition to the 3000 years of practice. The neuroscience is catching up and proving everything about that. that you're growing your prefrontal cortex, you're shrinking your amygdala, you're becoming more responsive and less reactive when things get crazy. That's the outcome.

PRO MINDSET (02:

47.822) That's phenomenal. So I didn't realize my brain was changing.

Aaron Hendon (02:

52.275) It is, and the neuroscience of it is solid. mean, it's, you know, Mayo Clinic, Harvard, Stanford, nothing woo woo about it. And I find I run into the problem is the frame is off because if you saw someone in the sixties jogging, you would think they were being chased because there wasn't a frame for jogging as a access to just a regular person getting increased cardiovascular health. Or in the 70s or the 80s, if you saw someone lifting weights, you'd think they were going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, not just increasing their stamina. Yoga, same thing. Hippies and gurus, and now every street corner. Well, meditation suffers from a lack of useful frame in our culture. but you are physically changing your brain the way yoga or jogging or resistance training changes your body. 100 % analogous.

PRO MINDSET (03:

59.244) That's interesting. Let's go back to Clutch Performers.

Aaron Hendon (04:

03.829) Yeah.

PRO MINDSET (04:

05.774) You know, I coach people on how to be their best in their biggest moments. And it's similar to some other people, maybe similar to yours. But I'm just curious. Like, let's just take a free throw on basketball. It doesn't matter if it's a seventh grader, if it's an NBA player. It's 15 feet. The basket's 10 foot high. The ball's the same size. Everything's the same.

Aaron Hendon (04:

29.217) What's it?

PRO MINDSET (04:

35.628) But when the game's on the line, it's not the same event.

Aaron Hendon (04:

41.015) I was just talking to my daughter yesterday. I watched the play-in game, the Hornets Heat. Whenever this ends, the Hornets will already be out of it. Playoff basketball is a different sport than in-season basketball. Playoffs are a different phenomenon for that reason, so I'm with you. It is not the same game when the stakes are higher.

PRO MINDSET (04:

57.354) It is. Yeah.

PRO MINDSET (05:

11.522) When it's a win or go home situation, it has different meaning. So how do you help people? Because in terms of skill, you're not going to teach them how to shoot a free throw better. But if you watch them, they can make a free throw. It's not something they're incapable of doing. Some people may make 50%. Some people may make 90%. But

Aaron Hendon (05:

33.527) That's it.

PRO MINDSET (05:

38.83) Almost people off the streets can make 25%. But let's say, for example, you know, we have one of those competitions or contests at halftime where you're going to, you know, hey, if you can make this, you're going to get $100,000 and you go grab people out of the stands. And you might think, you know, the fans may be thinking, oh my God, if this guy can shoot, you know, this guy played college basketball in the past, he's probably going to make it. And maybe another contestant didn't even play high school basketball and could only make like one out of 10. But the one that only can make one out of 10 makes the one when he needs to make the one. And the other one misses. How would you describe that contrast in what's going on in their mind?

Aaron Hendon (06:

28.171) Well, you could look at it physiologically that there it's a it's a the threat is increased. The threat of failure has increased threat of failure. Game one of the NBA season. Who cares players? It's practically preseason. Game seven, game on the line, not the same threat level up, which means your amygdala is now firing. You are a human being. You are an animal. Your brain is physiologically designed to keep you safe from threats. So your fight, flight or freeze mechanism is now your body's flooded with endorphin, you know, with, I don't forget the hormone, but you know, you're now they call it amygdala hijack. Like it is now. in control. If you haven't practiced or prepared your brain for that moment, you're hijacked. Pulling someone out of the stands to shoot a free throw. is a huge, could be, you know, it could potentially be a huge threat to them. could be like, well, I got no, I got no shots, so I'm loose. And they just play free. They got nothing to lose. It's not, nothing's really on the line for them. It's not that they had the money, you know, and maybe they're even looser when it's a half court shot. You've seen those too, right? Because now they really got nothing to lose. My odds are way down. So they play really, and you hear that all the time. They're playing loose. They're playing free.

PRO MINDSET (07:

38.146) They got nothing to lose.

Aaron Hendon (07:

57.122) They're having fun. All those adjectives are used in sports commentating regarding players that are, you know, higher likelihood to produce a result than if you're tight, threatened, scared. you know, Phil Jackson was a Zen master, not for ha-has, but because he meditated, because he taught his players to train their brain. We train our body. You can train your brain. Not only does he have the rings he has, who's the net, you know, who do you teach Steve Kerr? Also fairly effective coach, you know. So there's, there's this world in which you don't neglect the brain as the operating system for the whole thing. Cause you know, you could, you got to, like you said, 25 % of people have the I am coordination to figure out. Sorry, people off the street have the eye hand coordination to hit the basket and self-correct 25 % of the time. But, you know, how can you train your brain to stay calm in those moments? And that is literally what 10 minutes a day of meditation will do.

PRO MINDSET (09:

13.056) Okay, so let's dig a little deeper into this because... When I'm playing golf and a putt really means something, you know, I can feel it in my body that I'm a little bit excited. I can feel the pressure. And it's very difficult to stay in the moment because you start thinking ahead about how stupid you're going to look if you miss it and how awesome it's going to be if you make it. So, you know, like these athletes, you know, you know, like let's just take an Olympian. Let's go into Olympic trials. A master's, my goodness, for sure.

Aaron Hendon (09:

23.797) Yes. 36.215) Totally. 44.555) or just the Masters using that thing, same thing. mean, it just.

PRO MINDSET (09:

49.359) You know, Scottie Scheffler didn't have anything to lose after day three. He was so far behind, he just went out and did his thing. He lost the tournament on day one and day two. And then Rory's got this innate ability to create drama, to create excitement, to create stress, to create uncertainty. Instead of just doing what Tiger used to do in his heyday and that just go out and beat the whole field by 10 strokes.

Aaron Hendon (10:

17.367) just beat the hell out of them. That's right.

PRO MINDSET (10:

20.131) He finds water, he does things to create, he almost like manifests. So what's going on in a guy like that's mind? His skills are amazing.

Aaron Hendon (10:

27.935) advanced drama, advanced problem. 36.619) Yeah. Yeah. So I'm not a sports psychologist. I'm not an expert in that. So I'm not going to start pretending I know exactly what's going on in that mind. But from my perspective, from this outsider's perspective, watching that, OK, that's all that's all they got here is. there's an opportunity for what I call agency of attention, like being able to control your attention, what you put your attention on. And you you said it, you're lining up for that punt and your mind wanders to the past or the future. Right. Or even two different futures, shitty future, you know, we made fun of, right. Or it, or wanders to the past. Remember last time you messed this up. Remember that you dummy, you'll never, you'll never. Right. So the mind by itself is going to wander. If you don't exert any kind of attitudinal control over it, attentional control. It goes wherever it sounds familiar, whatever feels familiar to it. But if you can control your attention and simple ways to do that, right? This is a Navy SEAL thing is box breathing is four seconds in hold for four seconds, four seconds out hold for four seconds. It shifts you from a sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system fires. so now you're you have a chance to be grounded in the moment. And just focusing on your breath for four second intervals like that, almost anyone can do with very little practice. And now your mind's no longer wanting

Aaron Hendon (12:

25.717) Because the mind wanders, time travels, but the body does not. The body is always in the present. So if you can just focus your awareness on the present, on your body, then what there is is the ball and the cup and you. And you have the muscle memory to do this. You're not some guy off the street. And then you can visualize it. other, you know, you coach athletes, so visualization and, but all of that is the work that's done before you get on the green.

PRO MINDSET (13:

06.647) Okay, what does that look like? What kind of work? me, give us some examples of what that looks like.

Aaron Hendon (13:

15.051) Well, the most basic level it's, it's, meditating, finding a, finding a meditation practice that works for you, focusing on your breath or a mantra meditation or a guided meditation. find some meditation and we could talk about learning to meditate as distinct from actually meditating. Cause those are two different phenomena, but meditating for 10 minutes a day. Let's just take the most basic, just watching your breath. for 10 minutes. Most, the hang up with that is that sounds so ridiculously simple, doesn't it? It's like, well, you've just said, I don't even know what that does for me. That's okay. You don't know what taking the vitamin C does for you either. You take vitamin C every day and you're like, well, now I feel different, but I took the vitamin C, but the vitamin C is working. It's having an effect on your body. You just can't feel it, but you know, like if you stop taking it for long enough, you're more susceptible to colds. It's not. This isn't like, well, I don't believe you. Okay, fine. But you know what saying? It's not, do I feel it or not? But just as 10 minutes a day are the sort of the baseline minimum of what it takes to change the brain, the reps you're doing there of, because really what's going to happen when you meditate like that is you're going to watch your breath. Your breath will come in, you'll watch it. And then before you even exhale, you'll start making a list. You know, now I'm making a list or I'm finishing an argument with that idiot online. Remember that guy online? I know what I could say now. I should have said this last week or whatever. And your mind's going to go on a little trip and then you go, wait, my breath. And you'll come back to the breath. Wherever you are, you come back to the breath. And a lot of people, when they start meditating, think that mind wandering is a problem. And it's not, that's the meditation. That's the practice. That's what you're doing. You're practicing, catching your mind and coming back to the breath. You know, you can't train a dog not to bark unless it barks.

Aaron Hendon (15:

20.843) You can't train your mind to have the attentional agency that you want, the ability to direct your brain where you want it, unless you can catch it wandering. I've caught it wandering. Now I get to come back to the breath. So there's this illusion that meditation is like, and I clear my mind and I don't think of anything. And that is a hundred percent bullshit. That's not what meditation is at all. Meditation is catching the mind, noticing the thoughts, not stopping the thoughts. just noticing them. Because if you really get into it, once you notice the thought, there becomes you and the thought. You're no longer your thoughts. See now you're on the green and you're putting and you're no longer the thought. I'm going to fuck this up. And you're no longer the thought. I can sink this. You no longer the thought. I'm going to look bad. You no longer the thought. I'm going to look great. You're not. Those are just thoughts. Like, like you're standing behind the waterfall and the waterfall is flowing of the thoughts and you're behind it. You're dry. And it's just you and the ball. And that's what they talk about being in the zone. It's the ball, the cup. grows in size because there's the noise. Once you separate yourself from the noise, there's distance there. And that takes not a ton of practice, but daily practice. You brush your teeth every day. You can take 10 minutes to meditate every day.

PRO MINDSET (16:

52.751) But one of the things that I've seen is that when you even have awareness that you're having thoughts that are not in the moment, and that you have awareness that you're thinking about the last time you were in this situation and it did not go well. You're already thinking about bragging rights, the bet you made, who's buying the bruise on the 19th hole, all those kind of things. And you...

Aaron Hendon (17:

03.029) That's every...

PRO MINDSET (17:

20.301) All of a sudden have this awareness that you're thinking you're you are time traveling you are somewhere else and when you Almost like when you have that like that Understanding things do slow down

Aaron Hendon (17:

22.945) Yeah. Yeah. Yep. 39.905) Yep, they do.

PRO MINDSET (17:

41.547) I talk about in sports all the time when you're in the zone, you know, the game slows down.

Aaron Hendon (17:

47.455) all the time. That's exactly how they describe it.

PRO MINDSET (17:

49.655) And so think about the feeling hurried over a golf ball, over a putt, because you're all over the place and then you're like, wondering, I've been taking too long. No, if you can have that thought, you're really not taking too long. Now you can take a breath and just putt the ball, swing the club. Okay. Let's get out of basics. Okay. So we, we've just been through the elementary school of meditation, 10 minutes, follow your breathing, like follow it, see it, hear it, feel it, you know, and then you constantly jump off and then come back on.

Aaron Hendon (18:

09.783) Yeah. 100 % correct. That's exactly in the works. Okay. 33.515) Yeah. Yeah.

PRO MINDSET (18:

35.437) and then jump off and come back on. You do it for 10 minutes, you can do box breathing, you can do all these different types of things. 43.747) give a sneak preview of like a PhD in meditation. What is different about a high level meditation practice than doing this?

Aaron Hendon (18:

54.859) man, this is such a disappointing answer, Craig. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It's just, what's the difference between when you were brushing your teeth in eight and you just learned how to brush your teeth and now when you brush your teeth? Nothing.

PRO MINDSET (18:

58.2) That's the same thing I know just doing it consistently

PRO MINDSET (19:

12.141) What's the difference in shooting a free throw when you're in the NBA or high school?

Aaron Hendon (19:

14.795) There's just nothing. There's just no, and that's one of the things that messes people up when they learn to meditate. They think there's a way to some place to graduate to, you know, before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. There's, I guess you wind up not dreading it so much. That's different. You wind up not dreading the set. You wind up not judging and evaluating yourself in the set. as much, you you wind up, it doesn't, you stop looking for the cues of, well, that was a good practice today was that was really, I feel really good today. You just do it because you do it and you just do it and you get it's that's it. That's, know, unfortunately, is no different.

PRO MINDSET (20:

03.375) I do think there's a difference in degrees of presence.

Aaron Hendon (20:

09.493) Yes, well, that's the difference in life, not in the meditation part, but yeah, yeah.

PRO MINDSET (20:

13.303) Okay, well when you're in the practice of meditating and you're following your breath, sometimes you're really like on it and then there's other times you kind of feel like you're going through the motions. And so I think there's different standards that you can do it with, you know, and it's like there's no doubt. I mean if you're like rushing it and you're trying to run out of the office, run out of the house, wherever you got to go,

Aaron Hendon (20:

25.099) Yes. 30.71) Yes.

PRO MINDSET (20:

41.359) It's probably not going to be as effective. Or it could be more effective because you need it more.

Aaron Hendon (20:

45.911) It just, it also is so circumstantially dependent. It's so time dependent and circumstantially dependent. an advanced, someone who's been practicing for a while and whatever a while is, and I don't know, maybe a year, two years, not, it's not excessive. It's not like you gotta, you're, the goal's not in the goal. You're not going to ascend. You're not going to read, reach the point of no thoughts. The Dalai Lama doesn't have no thoughts when he meditates. This is not like, that's not what's happening here. But a seasoned meditator, okay, so just from an MRI, fMRI standard, functional MRI standard, there's an inverted U in learning how to meditate. So in the beginning meditator, their brain patterns go way down in the beginning. They're very, very clear. When you first start, first couple of weeks, and you get the hang of it, it's really, really, it's really like, wow, that's really calming. And then in the middle there, just after you learn how to do it, It's an inverted U, so it starts to go up. Your brain activity goes up. gets harder to make it harder to catch your, catch your thoughts. You, your mind wanders more until you practice longer than it goes down more. It's an inverted U shape, which is interesting. I think I just, was just reading about this. are you familiar with, James clear,

Aaron Hendon (22:

11.351) habit guy, atomic habits and Seth Godin both talk about this. Seth Godin talks about it like the dip. You start something new and then it gets really hard for awhile. And then if you keep going, the results go up. James Clear calls it the valley of despair. You learn a new skill and then things start going well. You start getting the results and then all of a sudden the results dip. The results go down and you got to go through this.

PRO MINDSET (22:

12.707) Yeah, atomic habits. Yep. 39.663) Here's what I would say. When you learn something new, you see strides of improvement, okay? And you get a lot of positive reinforcement. And then you even get to a level of competency in whatever this may be. But to, so now let's say you're 90 % competent in something. What it took you to get from zero to 90, compared from 90 to 100 is not even close.

Aaron Hendon (22:

46.678) Yes.

PRO MINDSET (23:

09.965) I don't know what X it is, but it's like 100X, 200X, it's stupid. It's almost impossible. So what happens is people get discouraged. They get bored. They're not getting any feedback, positive feedback. And in fact, they're regressing sometimes because they're...

Aaron Hendon (23:

23.041) That's right. 27.967) They're not put in the effort.

PRO MINDSET (23:

30.031) while they're judging how they're doing and they're frustrated. So let's just take shooting free throws. know, hey, you might make 70 out of 100, you know, after three weeks of practice and after, you know, a year of practice, you're still making 70 out of 100.

Aaron Hendon (23:

31.797) Yes. Yes. 48.78) Yep. A hundred, that's exactly the same phenomenon. the, the, the, that middle course, that middle space where the growth comes much more slowly, right. Is it really difficult? Is a, you know, it was a challenge to navigate in learning anything new as you point out. So there's, there's that space in meditation as well. Like when you learn how to meditate after the good feelings, after you feel really relaxed, you may wind up feeling really agitated for a while. but that's just putting in more work, putting more work. And at some point there, it comes out, you come out the other side and you start, because certainly if you practice fiitos long enough, you will get to 75. You know, there's 90, there's 90 % shooters, you know, you can do that, but the amount of time, you said, is so your best course is to stop judging the amount of time you're putting in and you just put in the work. Just it's, you know, like Kobe used to say, I don't negotiate with myself. If I say I'm going to do it, I do it. And I just go do it and I just go do it. And you just do it and over and over and over and over. And the work will always produce the results. Doing the work will always produce the results.

PRO MINDSET (25:

08.237) I think the thing that humans do, even in meditation, is they're comparing how they're doing and comparing the impact that's happened on them to previous times. And like you said, you're judging, you're negotiating, you're doing all these things where you're now putting a value on it.

Aaron Hendon (25:

23.606) Mm-hmm.

PRO MINDSET (25:

32.279) Instead of just experiencing it for what it is, because every single day is different, and what you're dealing with each time you meditate, it's something different. Sometimes it's the same thing, doesn't go away, but other times new things show up. You can't compare, you can't keep score.

Aaron Hendon (25:

35.659) Yes. 54.408) Uh-huh. It's so right on Craig. It's exactly right. Not only are you comparing it against the past, but the thing I think that messes most people up is they're comparing it to some hidden standard that they have in their mind about what it's supposed to look like that they haven't declared it's supposed to look like. You know, it's one thing if you say, look, I'm going to get to, I'm going to get to 80 out of a hundred and I'm going to go practice until I get 80 out of a hundred. I'm constantly comparing my, my form and everything until I get, that's not really, that's not a problem because that's a standard you've declared and you've said I'm going there. It's the standards that we don't declare the ways we're supposed to be. know, everyone knows how it's supposed to be and we're supposed to be and what that's supposed to feel like. And, you know, And then you coach people and you're like, wait a you made that up. That's not the way it is for a freshman college football player. You're not Tom Brady. That's not gonna happen. That's not a reasonable standard to hold yourself against. And you're not anybody else too. You're not, I'm not that familiar with college football, but you're not him, you're you. Let's look at your situation and look at it now, but yeah. Absolutely that comparison against the mindset, sorry, against the standard or against the past is a killer. Killer, killer,

PRO MINDSET (27:

25.281) I to add one more thing to that is when you talk to your friends and they share with you their experience and you don't have that experience and all of a sudden now you feel like you're not doing it right or not doing it well because maybe they even embellished a little bit about how they're doing it. Maybe you're feeling inadequate and the comparison game is you can never win the comparison game anyway.

Aaron Hendon (27:

38.486) Yeah. 45.089) Maybe. Maybe.

PRO MINDSET (27:

55.213) That's, I think comparison is undefeated. It always wins.

Aaron Hendon (27:

58.712) always wins. Yeah, 100 % could not be more could not agree more. So it takes people out. It's why I was saying learning how to meditate is a different phenomenon than meditating because I would suggest that learning to meditate is is you've got to get let go of that comparison state. And then once you're meditating, you're no longer comparing. That's what shifts from a seasoned meditator from a novice. The novice is still working out the comparison against how they think it should be, which is why the learning how to meditate with the apps doesn't really work. Apps are useful after you've learned how to meditate because they hold really useful information and useful practices. But the person that's judging the meditation is the person that's using the app and it's a little bit problematic. So you've got to, it's useful to have a teacher to get to that state where you're no longer judging or evaluating yourself.

PRO MINDSET (28:

54.539) Okay, so all different archetypes have different challenges. And high performers, whether it's in sports or business, it doesn't matter. What are their Achilles' And how do what you do help them overcome what they're dealing with?

Aaron Hendon (29:

18.635) Yeah. I think for the high performers, the number one thing that I run into is that they, a lot of their results, certainly inside what constitutes modern culture, hustle culture, get drive, get it done, get your bag, that world, they're very clear that their drive, their... their edge, their relentlessness is their source of results. And to whatever degree that's true, it's true. I'm not even saying it's not true. It could be 100 % true.

Aaron Hendon (30:

08.235) That is also the source of never actually being satisfied, never being fulfilled because that unchecked always means the next thing is where my happiness is gonna come from. And they're afraid if they let go of that and are satisfied in the moment, they'll have no reason to perform. If they lose their edge, they'll no longer be a performer. And I know you can untrain that. And once you untrain that, once you get people in the world of being completely satisfied in the moment, like happy with exactly what it is now, you know, you, started the, in the green room and we were talking, you you're frantically cause you're traveling today and you got all these breakdowns that you're dealing with, but just taking a moment to breathe and get, okay, this is the way I, you know, what a freaking unbelievable life I get to live. I get to go help these kids and these people, and I get to do this and I'm making a difference for all these people. That's losing that edge. You know, you don't have to do anything in that world. And you're that much more effective when you go, you're that much more effective because you're present when you're dealing with what you're dealing with. And that's why those salespeople that I train, you know, my team produced 160 % increase in sales. And all I taught him was how to meditate. didn't teach him new scripts. I didn't teach him new anything. They're already driven salespeople. You don't find salespeople that aren't. You don't find salespeople that are in the business for any length of time that aren't driven, right? No one gets into sales that, you know, no one lasts in sales unless you are driven. And, but they have found that they are, that being present is actually more effective in sales than being driven is that they lose more sales by being driven. You know, you know what it's like to deal with a driven salesperson. mean, that's just the worst for the customer, but a salesperson that's present. You have to do so much less work. So when a performer lets go of the need to be someplace other than where they are and the place where they want to go, the vision they're out to fulfill becomes an opportunity versus something they have to do, they become way more effective. I think that's the number one thing that high performers have to deal with. And what I provide for them is the ability to let go of the need and create it as an opportunity.

PRO MINDSET (32:

35.107) Okay, so there's been some bad modeling out there. So take Tom Brady, who won seven Super Bowls and he has more Super Bowl victories as a player than any franchise in the history of the league. He was always thinking about the next one. He was never satisfied. was always doing it. Michael Jordan, same way. How does a guy like that, like,

Aaron Hendon (32:

46.453) Yes. Yes. Michael Jordan, really good example. You watched the Michael Jordan. Not a happy man.

PRO MINDSET (33:

02.329) get untrained and still be as successful? Or do they need to be like that while they're in that sport, but they shouldn't do it in every part of their life, and they should take a break after they're finished?

Aaron Hendon (33:

18.911) Yeah, well, so I'm not going to pretend I did just pretend to know that Michael Jordan's not happy guys. So I take that back. I can't pretend to know what is really happening over there where they are. looking from the outside, like I said, his view, never satisfied, always, you know, engage in that is what brought him his results. Right. I don't know if he was that way on the field and another way at home. I don't know if he had the opportunity to turn that on and off. But I can tell you that it is possible to turn it on and turn it off. I don't know about him. don't, know, I haven't, right. But it is definitely possible for a human being to be driven and focused and engaged in with everything they have and whatever it is they're doing at any given moment. And if that's playing, you know, that's the game, great, turn it on, let's go. And then if it's, when it's time to be with his kids, it's to be with his family and his kids. And.

PRO MINDSET (34:

10.327) Okay, okay, so.

Aaron Hendon (34:

35.071) You know, I mean, all we have is, is, you know, what do they call parasocial knowledge of these people? don't have any other knowledge about them. I look at them into, you know, divorced kids that I don't, but I don't, that, that without getting into a judgment about it, couldn't tell you how he lives.

PRO MINDSET (34:

52.419) Here's what you can do, First, my experience in dealing with those types of people, they don't turn it off ever. Some of them delay getting married, delay normal decisions because they can't multitask. They're on a one-track mind, they're jamming, they want to keep it going, you know, whether it's internal motivation or you know, external expectations, they're on it. So when you say, you can turn it on and turn it off, I believe you, I'm getting there. But how do you, how do you turn it on and turn it off? Let's do the turn on first. How do you turn it on? Because if it's not there, how do you turn it on?

Aaron Hendon (35:

46.017) How do you turn on that innate drive to perform?

PRO MINDSET (35:

49.592) Yes.

Aaron Hendon (35:

51.576) Huh, wow, that's a good question. I've never thought about that. I've always working with people that have it permanently on and I work with them to turn it off so that they can choose between. But I don't know how to get some, so let's just go back for a second. Let's just put ourselves in that space. So you're talking about someone who's got.

PRO MINDSET (35:

55.695) No.

PRO MINDSET (36:

03.041) Okay, so let's start with the guy. Let's start with the person.

Aaron Hendon (36:

15.691) Well, someone who's got no internal motivation to perform, it's really what we're talking about, right? Let's just think, I've got no internal motivation to perform. Well, if I've no, but I want it, that person would need to at least want internal motivation to perform. Yes, otherwise we're not talking. Right? In this scenario, in the scenario that we have, neither of us have dealt with, right? this person would need and now all of a sudden that right there is what? That's internal motivation. They have the desire. So that answers that. They've turned it on themselves. They're not looking for that solution. They're not looking for that. they don't have, if it hasn't been, now you might have to, you know, fan those flames, you know?

PRO MINDSET (37:

06.157) Yes. So I see, I'm following you. So if somebody doesn't have it, they may never be able to turn it on unless they adopt a new internal motivation that lights a fire under their butt. And now all of a sudden they're wanting to do it. So let's go to the high performer that can't turn it off. That once you teach them to turn it off, also, how do you turn it on?

Aaron Hendon (37:

33.474) Well, it becomes a, all that's happening there is I'm being operating consistent with the moment I'm in. I'm no longer at home with my family, thinking about work because I'm at home with my family. And so I'm present with my family. What is, what is the appropriate way to be in this particular environment? Now I'm with my family, with my kids and I'm dealing with that because I'm in the present moment with them. And now I also do have this goal to win another Superbowl or whatever, right? Now this is all theoretical, but you know, I also have that commitment. So that means I got to figure out the logistics of being with my family and watching tape, but it's not sparring from one to the other because I have a holistic life and I'm, you know, my family's engaged in this with me. You know, I'm Because when I'm with them, I'm 100 % with them. There's a million little particles to this, but it's operating appropriate with the circumstances as the circumstances arise. That's what that life looks like. So if I'm on the field, I'm not thinking about my family. I have the ability to control what I put my attention on. My brain is a muscle. You watch dancers. All the time. mean, one of the most magical things is watching footballs. Like how do they move their body that way? Forget about how they can get up after they get hit. That's the whole other thing. But how does, know, I'm a CX fan. How does JSN move his body in that way? That's just like, that's like, that's not normal. can't, no one can do that. And, and yet they do because they've got the practice they put in the time and they did the work. and they can move their body that way. Well, if you can move your body a particular way, you can move your mind a particular way. You absolutely can.

PRO MINDSET (39:

34.251) I watched JSN during the playoffs and I was watching him in some of the games when he wasn't getting the ball. And I was just like watching his body language and his energy output and things like that. And when he wasn't the target of a play, it was a run play. He was conserving his energy, you know, and he knew when to be on, you know, when he was the featured target, he was on. Did they throw him the ball every time? No. Sometimes I got sacked. Sometimes there was other breakdowns. But it's like, if you look at the flow of a football game where, you know, 60 minutes, these guys can't go 100 miles an hour in every single play. And a lot of them get subbed out, but for that player that's in there almost every play, he's got to pace himself and he's got to know when to turn it. He's got that switch.

Aaron Hendon (40:

28.951) And I'm suggesting that that's a trainable phenomenon. That's not in here. whatever degree that internal fire to be the best is, but I don't know that that's innate. don't know. I don't know enough about that. Frankly, I don't feel comfortable really speaking about that. It's a really interesting conversation. I really, it's now sparked a lot of interest for me. Like, what is it to turn it on with someone who doesn't have.

PRO MINDSET (40:

47.353) That's okay. That was just cute.

Aaron Hendon (40:

55.927) Because it's look on one hand, it's also all a choice. It's a take the moral judgment out of it. Like that's we were talking about comparison, like judgments. Let's take those out of it. It's not better to win seven Super Bowls than to watch someone win seven Super Bowls. Inherently. They're just things that human beings do. And that's the dance that we live. And it's not inherently better to stay married than it is to win seven Super Bowls and get divorced. That's not like, He made the right choice or he made the wrong choice or no, no, he made the choices he made and that's the life he's living. So if we take all the judgments out of it, then it's you're really left with, okay, well, what is it that I want to do with this life right now? And I definitely think that that's an, that's something if you can bring someone to that question. there's a real opportunity for them to choose anything they want. And then we can coach them into doing that, train them into doing that. I mean, I don't think I'm going to play basketball. There's some physical phenomena that need to be contended with. I'm not going to make

PRO MINDSET (42:

06.383) Right. Now, anything you choose to do, you have to have some baseline ability to do it, especially when it comes to performance sports. You know, I'm not talking about chess and to time. I'm talking about, you know, golf and football and so on and so forth. Let's switch gears for a second.

Aaron Hendon (42:

15.116) Yes. Sports. Yes. 32.235) Although I feel like we should both be able to do golf. But I can't. It's not even that can't. I'm just not.

PRO MINDSET (42:

35.395) We should. Well, here's the thing that I'm learning about golf is, you know, there's no one way to do it. Everybody's got a different body type. Everybody, you know, has a different temperament. Some people want to play aggressive. Other people want to play it safe. Some people want to swing the hardest they can to hit every single ball the farthest they can. And other people want to hit it to a spot. so that they can, they've got a predictable shot the next time. And I think golf is such a thinking man's sport, but even on tour, the guys don't play it the same. It really does kind of show their personalities and their adversity to, adverseness to risk, things like that. Some guys don't even see, they don't see the water.

Aaron Hendon (43:

09.367) Hmm. 17.621) Great.

PRO MINDSET (43:

34.337) Other people hit it away from the water. know? So, before we get started, we were talking a little bit. And you talked about there's no wrong way to do it. What did you mean by that?

Aaron Hendon (43:

51.734) Well, the sort of meta is there's just no wrong way to do life. It's just what I was saying. It's not better to watch someone watch seven Super Bowls than it is to win seven Super Bowls. There's no wrong way to do life. There's just the way you're doing life. I talk about it in terms of the micro, in terms of meditation. When I work with people about meditation, it's, you know, word mindfulness is bandied about these days a lot. really good, useful term, but like you were saying earlier, the English is a good, interesting language. It depends what you mean by that. And mindfulness in the definition that's come to, think is most useful is it's paying attention a particular way, paying attention in a particular way on purpose, in the present, without judgment. And it's the without judgment piece that's the hardest for people. because there's always a right way and a wrong way of everything. You know, there's a right way for the government to be and the wrong way for the government to be and let's kill each other to find out, right? Which way we want to go. It's all judgment. So by saying there's no wrong way to do it, I'm just, simply saying just take the judgment out of it. You're doing it how you do it. Now, is there a way to do it that might produce the results you're committed to? Like if you held your arm and you know, you're going to coach that kid. if you held your arm in this angle, the best you could say to that kid about, should you hold your arm at this angle or should you five step drop or hold your feet this way or what? The best you could say about that is in the past for other people, this has worked.

Aaron Hendon (45:

40.736) If you want to do it some other way, master this way. And then let's see what way you come up with. But in the past, this has been the most reliable way to produce the result. Let's learn that. But that still doesn't mean there's a right way to do it because you just said in golf, there's a million ways to do it. There's no right way to do it. John Daly, Tiger Woods, Rory, all different ways to play the game. Champions. Phil, champion. All champions. Different ways to do it. No right way to do it. And if you take that judgment out and you just start looking at what's the way to do it, that's for what's the way I can do it that will produce the results. And I do think there's value in saying, okay, well, in the past, doing it this way has produced the results for other people. Let's master that because there's enough evidence that that has worked for enough people. And then if you, if you want to make something up after that, let's go. But I think there's value in that. on time, know, best practices. I think there's best practices, but that's different than there's a right way to do it. Cause you know, soon as we get into there's a right way to do it. We get into, you know, all kinds of, all kinds of mess that you could avoid if you stop pretending there's a right way to do

PRO MINDSET (47:

00.865) Aaron, what do the Navy SEALs do that helps them be their best in their biggest moments when their life is on the line and they're trying to save somebody's life and they're trying to protect people and they don't want to die in the process? How does that show up for the average Joe who could be a salesman, you know, could be selling anything, cars, real estate, you pick it.

Aaron Hendon (47:

29.495) You know, it's funny, I'm not a big, I'm not gonna pretend to have done a lot of work on studying the Navy SEALs. I do know that quote about preparation, but I am writing something now on Admiral McRaven's speech, his commencement address in 2014. And you've probably heard about, it's fairly common in the culture these days. talked about the, Admiral McRaven was the Navy SEAL commander that led the Osama bin Laden. raid. This is 36 years as a Navy SEAL. not some guy in the diner about what the Navy SEALs do and provide and how they operate. And he gave a commencement speech at University of Texas. Who's the Longhorns? Texas. Right. But is it University of Texas or? Okay, fine. So he's University of Texas Longhorns.

PRO MINDSET (48:

21.657) Texas. 25.101) Yeah, University of Texas.

Aaron Hendon (48:

29.715) The screen grab is of him doing that. Anyway, he said the most important lesson he learned as a Navy SEAL was make your bed. 41.867) Make your bed every day. And it says it does a couple of things. And it's really, I think this is really fascinating. one is it's doing a small task and doing the small tasks well will lead you to do bigger tasks well later in the day. That just accomplishing the small things that you can do, control the controllables.

PRO MINDSET (48:

44.239) consistency.

Aaron Hendon (49:

10.913) will give your brain what it needs to be able to control the, to be able to deal with the uncontrollables later. And even if everything goes to hell, at the end of the day, you'll come home to a made bed and your brain will trigger that you made that bed. And tomorrow you have another opportunity to get things done. And I thought that was just fascinating thing. I, so a couple of things about that, I started getting into, there's a couple of things about the neuroscience of that, of all of that, because one of them that I think is interesting is, and this is most interesting thing to me is that I think meditating for 10 minutes a day is making your internal. It's a small practice. You're making, you're making your bed. You're making, you're slowing yourself down. You're releasing the, the, the neurochemicals that you need. And you have a place to come back to in your mind where your amygdala is calm and your prefrontal cortex is activated. You have a space to come back to that you did. You controlled it. You made it that way. And you have a safe place to come back to. So it's a really good metaphor for meditating. So that's, and then there's the whole neuroscience of neat orderly, like how your brain fires when things aren't neat and orderly. Like it sees disorder as a threat. I'm doing that now. I'm looking at my office like, holy shit, I got to clean the office. I really regretted reading that. was like, I gotta put all this stuff away. But you know how things feel when they're clean. They just, your body responds differently and we are not in tune with, in the West we think mind over matter. No, no, no. That's a huge bit of it. get 80 % of our information. know, 80 % of the information goes from our body to our brain. Only 20 % of our brain back to our body. What to do? We're constantly taking in information with our body and including the order. So making your bed includes all of that, keeping things orderly. But if you were asking me what the Navy SEALs have to provide for, you know, the average Joe, make your bed. Do the control of the controllables.

Aaron Hendon (51:

21.717) Do the little things and sit and make your bed. Make the bed. You know, that's how I would put that.

PRO MINDSET (51:

30.093) I think a metaphor for that also is that no matter how chaotic life is, that's consistent. And if you think about it, make your bed and you leave and do what you do, and then you come back at night and you've been through potentially a war, and the bed's made again. So it's like, it's... It's almost like a way to emotionally regulate because you're like, okay, I'm good. where, you see this with friends. If their car's an armpit, their house is mess, everything's, their office is a mess, it shows up and they're rattled. You know? And I think the place where meditation shows up, you said it already. It's in your responding as opposed to reacting. So people that have road rage, people that have a hot head, people that have their day planned perfectly, and they get that curveball, and they have no margin for a curveball. You know, I mean, sometimes I do that where I've got my whole day planned. I got no plans for any interruptions. When I'm really jamming,

Aaron Hendon (52:

36.631) Yes. Yes. 43.777) Yeah.

PRO MINDSET (52:

59.999) I have time in my day for the unexpected and I can deal with it.

Aaron Hendon (53:

06.657) Really good. Yep. It's very, you know, the thing about the 10 minutes a day, right? The Buddha say everyone should meditate for 20 minutes a day unless you don't have time. And then you should meditate for an hour.

PRO MINDSET (53:

22.905) Yeah.

Aaron Hendon (53:

24.861) That's that space. You just got to take that space. Make the space for yourself.

PRO MINDSET (53:

33.089) Okay, for those that are still listening.

Aaron Hendon (53:

36.616) Hahaha

PRO MINDSET (53:

39.533) What's one nugget that we haven't talked about that's on your heart that you, message you want to share to the universe that says blank because it's going to make somebody's day better in some way.

Aaron Hendon (53:

55.512) There's no downside to being kind to yourself. You train athletes, we have the mindset of Tom Landry, Bill Parcells, the hard, in-your-face Bobby Knight. When we hear about people being coached, those are standard mental models that we have about the coach who's gonna tell us how to do it. And we're trying to be that coach for ourselves. which has a place. are great coaches. are not guys off the street. These are world champion coaches. But it's not the way you learned how to walk.

Aaron Hendon (54:

44.683) You know, when you teach your kid how to walk and when you learned how to walk, I guarantee you, here's what happened. You stood up or your kid stood up on its chubby little legs and fell, and you cheered. You didn't give him corrective criticism. You didn't get in his face. You weren't hard with him. You cheered. And then he stood up and he fell backwards and you cheered anyway. And every single time you made an effort, someone was there cheering you on. Every effort was met with success. Every effort was met like it was a success. That's how you learn how to walk. And there are no non-walkers.

PRO MINDSET (55:

30.869) Everybody works.

Aaron Hendon (55:

31.923) Everyone walks and I've yet to meet the adult that treats themselves with one one hundredth of that grace when they're learning something new. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. There is no prize at the end of this. You wind up in the same hole as Tom Brady. Every one of us winds up in the same hole in the ground. There is not a prize at the end of this. So there is no downside to being kind to yourself and nothing but upside. Nothing but upside and being kind to yourself. That's what I would, that's the normal thing.

PRO MINDSET (55:

42.253) Wow, isn't that true?

PRO MINDSET (56:

02.265) I love that. Okay, so you authored a book. What's it called?

Aaron Hendon (56:

07.671) It's called How to Live a Grateful Life in a Fucked Up World. One second. No problem. My dog just came in my office. Thanks. Yeah, How Grateful Life in a Fucked Up World. Yeah, it's a nine week practice for training the brain for peace, clarity, and presence.

PRO MINDSET (56:

12.419) All good. It's all good. 30.903) And for those listeners that want to check you out, find you, check out your program, read your book. Where can they find you?

Aaron Hendon (56:

39.447) Sure, AaronHinden.com. Pretty easy. My name.com. And the book will be out, I am intending it's out in the second quarter of this year by the end of June. soon. But they can read all, what's that?

PRO MINDSET (56:

53.153) As as you're not a perfectionist. As long as you're not a perfectionist.

Aaron Hendon (56:

57.959) I am wrestling with covers and I wrote to my editor, my designer yesterday, it was like, one more set of changes, one more set of samples. And then my last sentence was, and this is all completely normal, isn't it? I tell myself as I freak out. Yes.

PRO MINDSET (57:

12.131) Yeah, absolutely. Well, I want to thank you for being on Pro Mindset today. Great combo. Do you have anything you want to

Aaron Hendon (57:

21.495) Craig, just appreciate you. I appreciate the work you do. Anyone who's willing to have this conversation, your listeners, people that are willing to open up to what is going to lead to higher performance without sacrificing any aspect of life is just a really moving thing. So I really appreciate you. Thank you.

PRO MINDSET (57:

41.187) Thank you. All you listeners, go out and be kind to yourself today. Remember that you're learning how to walk. It's just something else today. And have a great day.

Aaron Hendon (57:

50.424) Thanks.